Dec.12, 2009, under The Sexiest
So this is a touchy subject, and before I decided to write about dating your ex, I did a bit of research, first hand, that is. I wanted to know what others thought about the subject, and more importantly, if I agreed with what they’d say. Some of the shit is just that, cliche bullshit! However, I did find some good advice from a few articles, so here’s the skinny.
I’m dating my ex. We got past the what happen, the anger, the your fault, my fault BS, and now we’re at the sex is better now, than back then. But there’s a problem. You know that, what the fuck are we doing, problem. Can it just be sex with your ex, with all the emotional baggage of the past?
I got love for my ex, but I’m not in love. Right now I’m just loving the sex. So this article from Searchwarp.com talks about being emotional available? Bullshit! You don’t want to feel anything with your ex, right? I don’t! I want it to be casual, but it doesn’t feel as casual as I want it to. You start thinking crap like, damn they look better than they did before, or it feels really good to be around this person again, I wonder if they feel the same way. So here’s my rule, thoughts are your enemy when it comes to your ex. You can’t block them, so just keep them to yourself.
I did like one thing from this article on Searchwarp.com about being honest about what the hell you’re doing, and don’t create the same relationship. Duh! It didn’t work the first time, so why try the same shit out!
Now I’m definitely not doing the same ol’ things. I’m not even the same person that I was back then. But I’m conflicted about when to call, when not to call, am I calling to much, or not enough. More of those thoughts that I told you to bury. Sometimes you want to chill with your ex, and you don’t know if they want to chill. So what do you do? You don’t want them to think that you’re getting attached, and you may, or in my case, you may just want to have sex and don’t want to right out say that, LMAO. This is the real shit that all of the articles don’t mention.
So here’s my rule, give an invitation, with an expiration time. I hate asking someone out, and they don’t respond in a timely fashion. I’m not talking about 1 hour, or even 2. Here’s an example, I asked my ex, what are you doing tonight, in the afternoon, like 12ish, and didn’t get a response til 9:30 pm? Did I do nothing? Hell no! I went out, did me, and had a blast! So what does one gather from that situation? That they didn’t want to hang out, right? Exactly! I believe you have to be aware of the signs. I got this lame excuse, but it didn’t matter, and it was hella late.
The fact about dating anyone is, you’re going to get mad at the person, but when you’re dating your ex again, and its kind of new, you can’t really get mad at shit like that. At least in my book. You’re technically not with them, so why get mad and stressed out over relationship bullshit. That’s what I’m doing now. I’m shrugging off all of the crap that I would normally get mad over because, I’m not with this person again. So I guess that’s another rule, don’t get mad over little shit if its not an official relationship.
There are some perks to dating an ex. Like no getting to know you time needed. I hate that part of new relationships. The questions, the past relationship talk, the what’s you favorite position. Sorry, I can’t stop thinking about sex right now. But all of that crap is bypassed, and I love that! There’s also that familiarity. You know this person, you feel comfortable. Sometimes its hard to feel comfortable around new people.
But the truth, its always murky waters when you deal with an ex. You just never know how it will end, and if it ended badly the first time, which is the case in my case, it could end bad again. So again that question, what the hell are we doing, right? I don’t know, and maybe that’s what’s so exciting.
Posted by Marley at 10:49 pm