So this is a touchy subject, and before I decided to write about dating your ex, I did a bit of research, first hand, that is. I wanted to know what others thought about the subject, and more importantly, if I agreed with what they’d say. Some of the shit is just that, cliche bullshit! However, I did find some good advice from a few articles, so here’s the skinny.

I’m dating my ex. We got past the what happen, the anger, the your fault, my fault BS, and now we’re at the sex is better now, than back then. But there’s a problem. You know that, what the fuck are we doing, problem. Can it just be sex with your ex, with all the emotional baggage of the past?

I got love for my ex, but I’m not in love. Right now I’m just loving the sex. So this article from Searchwarp.com talks about being emotional available? Bullshit! You don’t want to feel anything with your ex, right? I don’t! I want it to be casual, but it doesn’t feel as casual as I want it to. You start thinking crap like, damn they look better than they did before, or it feels really good to be around this person again, I wonder if they feel the same way. So here’s my rule, thoughts are your enemy when it comes to your ex. You can’t block them, so just keep them to yourself.

I did like one thing from this article on Searchwarp.com about being honest about what the hell you’re doing, and don’t create the same relationship. Duh! It didn’t work the first time, so why try the same shit out!

Now I’m definitely not doing the same ol’ things. I’m not even the same person that I was back then. But I’m conflicted about when to call, when not to call, am I calling to much, or not enough. More of those thoughts that I told you to bury. Sometimes you want to chill with your ex, and you don’t know if they want to chill. So what do you do? You don’t want them to think that you’re getting attached, and you may, or in my case, you may just want to have sex and don’t want to right out say that, LMAO. This is the real shit that all of the articles don’t mention.

So here’s my rule, give an invitation, with an expiration time. I hate asking someone out, and they don’t respond in a timely fashion. I’m not talking about 1 hour, or even 2. Here’s an example, I asked my ex, what are you doing tonight, in the afternoon, like 12ish, and didn’t get a response til 9:30 pm? Did I do nothing? Hell no! I went out, did me, and had a blast! So what does one gather from that situation? That they didn’t want to hang out, right? Exactly! I believe you have to be aware of the signs. I got this lame excuse, but it didn’t matter, and it was hella late.

The fact about dating anyone is, you’re going to get mad at the person, but when you’re dating your ex again, and its kind of new, you can’t really get mad at shit like that. At least in my book. You’re technically not with them, so why get mad and stressed out over relationship bullshit. That’s what I’m doing now. I’m shrugging off all of the crap that I would normally get mad over because, I’m not with this person again. So I guess that’s another rule, don’t get mad over little shit if its not an official relationship.

There are some perks to dating an ex. Like no getting to know you time needed. I hate that part of new relationships. The questions, the past relationship talk, the what’s you favorite position. Sorry, I can’t stop thinking about sex right now. But all of that crap is bypassed, and I love that! There’s also that familiarity. You know this person, you feel comfortable. Sometimes its hard to feel comfortable around new people.

But the truth, its always murky waters when you deal with an ex. You just never know how it will end, and if it ended badly the first time, which is the case in my case, it could end bad again. So again that question, what the hell are we doing, right? I don’t know, and maybe that’s what’s so exciting.

When it’s over it’s over. There’s no easy way to quit anyone, especially when people make it difficult. But, if you follow these simple rules to dumping your chick, in due time, she will get over it, perhaps even forgive you, and become a friend with benefits on a lonely drunken night of forget.

Know these few things: She’s going to be angry, she’s going to be sad, she’s going to cry, and she’s going to hate you. Here’s the catch, for how long? The key is dumping her the right way, so all of these feelings she will have, will remain brief as possible.

Timing Is Everything:

Never dump a girl on her birthday, during her period, or after someone has died

• Dump Her In The Day-Time: Sunny days can be an advantage, she’ll have time to reflect, meet-up with friends, and go out that night to get over being dumped.
• Dump Her At Your House: I know this sounds crazy, but if you dump her at your house, she’ll leave, probably call one of her girls, and have some type of bonding experience, verses dumping her at her house, where she will sit and sulk for hours on some psycho shit, and call you 50 million times by the end of the day, you don’t want that headache.
• Dumping Her Is The Only Activity: Don’t take her to dinner, a movie, or any public place and then dump her at the end of the activity. Then you’re just a fucking cowardly ass-hole who tried to soften the blow of being dumped. She will curse your dumb ass out in an irate fashion because she’s just wasted more of her time liking you, and the shit wasn’t being reciprocated.

Delivering The Message:

I don’t give a fuck about what people tell you about emails, text messages, facebook, or myspace, DO NOT DUMP, I REPEAT, DO NOT DUMP HER ON ANY OF THESE, UNLESS YOU WANT YOUR TIRES SLASHED, WINDOWS BROKEN, OR A NASTY RUMOR SPREAD ABOUT YOU. Face to face is the best way.

• Write Her A Letter: It doesn’t have to be an essay in MLA format, but a letter, for women, is a form of deep sentiment and expression. For you it’s, “Good Riddance”, for her it’s, “Wow, he actually cared enough about me to write me a letter!” You’ll be remember as a mature, and sophisticated gentlemen it didn’t workout with.
• Know Your Plan and Be Clear: Don’t just go into the lioness den and say, “I want to break up,” because she’s going to ask why? Say, “Its just not working between us,” and point out a fault, if you don’t have one make one up. It will get her thinking about if she’s really like that. That’s it. Don’t discuss it, or linger in the moment, just leave. The longer you stay, the longer and painful the dumping process becomes.
• Be The Bearer Of Bad News: This is a big one. Don’t tell your friends you’re dumping your chick until after you have dumped her. If word gets to her before you’ve dumped her it will be a disaster! You want her to hear it from you first or otherwise sabotage could be in store for you.

After The Storm:

After she’s been dumped, I have to go all caps again, DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT BRING DATES TO WHERE SHE HANGS OUT, OR AROUND MUTUAL FRIENDS

• Have Some Class: I know, ain’t nothing better than some new new, but don’t start banging a new chick the same night. Wait at least a week depending on the length of the last relationship. Longer than a 6 months is the window. If you do bang a new chick ASAP, don’t blast it to friends who would circulate your business, because if it gets back to her, she’ll think you were cheating on her while you were together.
• No Contact: Stay away from her for about 2 to 3 months. That’s the thresh hold of pain for women. Give her time to heal, then text her to see how she’s doing. That should be your only source of contact for at least a year, or until she starts dating someone else.
• You’ll Never Really Be Friends: Friends don’t know your dick size, so she’ll never really be your friend, EVER! Acquaintances maybe. You can hang out in a group setting, but never alone. If you go out alone, your asking to rehash the “Ghosts of Christmas past” and you don’t want that. Remember this, the moment you have sex with your ex is the moment you’ll have to break up with her all over again.